Waiting to board a flight has to be the most soul destroying waste of time ever. Luckily I have no qualms about sitting on the floor. And it proves, every time, that humans, are in fact, lemmings. No sooner had I made a cushion out of my laptop case had everyone followed suit, including sexy boy next to me. Obviously the Gods of Flight wanted us to be together and who am I to deny the Gods? We were basically sitting on each other's laps but since this was our first date, I shifted a little to the left. I was on a SAA flight and it concerned me slightly that the sign at Gate Ten read 'Nationwide'. While current affairs aren't one of my strong points, I was under the impression that Nationwide had gone belly up. I asked my new boarding boyfriend what was up with the Nationwide sign and my eyes started spewing tears again. But these tears were not cold related. The smell that emanated out of his mouth was so foul, I could only assume that the bubonic plague hadn't actually come to an end and was alive and well and living in this man's mouth.
He explained that to avoid a rush of people trying to board the flight, they put the sign up to confuse people. There were so many things wrong with that statement that I would normally launch into a tirade about how stupid some people are, but I didn't want to encorouge this man to ever open his mouth again. Bird flu, mad cow disease. There are no longer problems. There is a man, wandering the streets of Cape Town, with the plague in his mouth.
And if that wasn't bad enough, this is what I had to deal with the entire flight to Cape Town.
The urge to tickle them was too much. The urge to amputate them was stronger.
6 comments:
OMG.First the breath guy, then you get a real live hobbit.I would definitely have tickled them.And then stuck my hour-old Stimorol between his toes.
You really are hilarious. I would love to have seen you trying to manipulate your camera while taking that photograph of the ugliest feet I think I have ever seen without either laughing hysterically or crying uncontrollably - due to your cold. The big question on everyone's mind is did those feet smell as badly as the guys breath?
Nic in Chicago.
OMG - the feet are too funny - and annoying!! LOL
Those feet are beyond disgusting...I feel I need to shower in dettol just after seeing a picture of them. Not only would I never take off my socks if my toes resembled rotten caterpillars, but I would have probably slapped and murdered my parents for passing along disturbingly bad genes...
Hally(tosis), is a unforgivable infliction in todays modern society, a veritable crack in the head is needed for that chap! Try passing through any toilet in Singapore and you will know the true meaning of dirty, stinky ass feet!
@sunrise: I'm so with you there on the toilets in Singapore ....I just CANT get my head around how you use them and dont get pee on your feet!
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