To the owner of the bar I was visiting on Friday, thank you for putting up with my numerous song requests. I suggest you should remove the repeat button from your iPod, it's just too easy for me. I'm very sorry you found me behind the bar pouring my own drinks. I'm even more apologetic that I started pouring drinks for your other customers and telling them they could pay me in compliments.
I promise I didn't start the trend of everyone dancing on your bar. I merely suggested it, with that mic I found. Thank you very much though for pointing out that a candle had placed itself under my bag. Thankfully you caught it before it did any serious damage to my bag.
When the sun started rising in the distance and I asked you to turn it off, you sighed really loudly. I think you must have been really tired, maybe you shouldn't work so hard? I think that's why I tried to help you by serving everyone. When you asked me if I wanted anything else and I said 'World peace', you just kept staring at me, was that because you agreed with me?
If I could ask you one massive favour though, even though I was loving your CCTV camera that night and singing to it, I would prefer it if you could just erase that particular tape.
Thanks ever so much and good luck with your business. I won't be seeing you for a while as there are many other establishments who rely on my patronage.
Bags
Monday, October 27, 2008
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2 comments:
You sound like a danger to society (well those who are watching their establishment lose money), and otherwise the best comedic drunk ever!!! One thing I have learnt, is that you sure as hell know how to have some fun. A question about the day after... do you feel the effects (and hence call on the green or red ambulance and/or other narcotic substances and/or hair of the dog) or are you born to party without consequence? (I ask this 'cos if it's the latter... I'm jealous!!)
Ha ha ha - great letter. Must have been one hell of a night
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