I was having lunch with a friend over the weekend. A single friend. Hard to find those single friends I tell you, so I was particularly looking forward to our lunch.
Me: What are you ordering?
Single Friend: A guy! I met a guy last night!
Me: That's not on the lunch menu. It may be on the drinks menu though...
SF: No I really met a guy. I haven't had a connection like that in ages. We just talked and talked and talked. He was even calling me his wife!
Me: Careful, the last time someone called you that, you went through a messy divorce.
SF: You're so cynical.
Me: I'm a realist.
SF: Oh my God, he's calling me now.
I sat in shock while I was subjected to her conversation. While I'm guilty of proposing to many a guy over the years, I'm usually completely intoxicated and any guy with two eyes, two legs and the ability to speak English seems insanely hot to me. Having this kind of conversation while sober, is not something I recommend.
SF: I was JUST talking about you!
Me: Why are you telling him that?
SF: Baglett says you're a really nice, normal guy with no hang ups!
Me: No I didn't. And even if I did, don't tell him that.
SF: I was just saying how I haven't had a connection with a guy in years.
Me: You're not actually telling him that. Tell me you're not actually telling him that.
SF: Would you like to go out for dinner tonight?
Me: Yes, that's good, make him wait.
SF: Wait, here speak to Baglett!
Me: Thank God we're in High School because otherwise this would be really embarrassing.
SF: Baglett's faking a coughing fit. So see you at 7?
She spent the rest of the lunch smsing him. To extricate myself from the situation I asked the guy friend on my right how his girlfriend was. 'She dumped me last night' was his reply.
So the God of Awkward Lunches was having a good giggle that day.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
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2 comments:
I thought of you the other day, friends and I were visiting a girl friend in her hospital bed, listening in on her love life drama about not wanting to date a guy she really likes because they work at the same law firm. We're all going, "Do it, don't let work get in the way, just because you work together doesn't mean you can't date, he sounds devine", at full volume...when of course, who walks in, clutching a bunch of flowers...but the guy himself. I don't know who was redder, those gerbera daisies or my friend!
oh no, that really doesnt sound like a good lunch. but definitely a blog worthy lunch.
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