I'VE GOT CHUTZPAH

I’ve just arrived back at Old Man Rivers place after a two hour walk on the beach. He’s currently surfing and when he gets back we’re going for a hike up the mountain. When I signed up for this ‘dating an older man’ deal, I was hoping for someone a little less energetic. With a zimoframe perhaps. So I could score a disabled parking if nothing else. At the rate I’m going, I’ll be dead before he is. Which brings me to another point. I still haven’t worked out his secret to looking young. After an extensive search of his medicine cabinet, I am none the wiser. I’m now in search of his diary to confirm my botox appointment suspicions.

This weekend kicked off the wedding season with two nuptials. Weddings are always fun, weddings that involve The Neighbour, The Single Sidekick, the Ex Pat, the Princess and various other characters are ball breakingly fun. I can rely on The Neighbour to ask ‘Is this top too revealing?’ and then pull it down to flash the entire wedding party. I can rely on The Single Sidekick to embrace me in a rib shattering hug sobbing into my shoulder ‘I love youuuuuu my friiiiiiiiieeend’ and I can rely on the fact that I’m going to make some ridiculous comment. Prime example would be when I was introduced to Juan and instead of a simple handshake, I poked him and said, ‘You are the Juan I want’ and then fell over.

Sunday saw in my first Jewish wedding and definitely not my last. Apparently I loved it so much that I fell into Old Man River’s bed at 3am this morning and told him I’m converting to Judaism. I have spent the most part of today saying things like ‘I’m schvitzing’, ‘That’s not kosher’ and ‘what a schlep’ and 'You're lacking some chutzpah'. As annoying as it is for people around me, I'm having a great day.