I’m shocking with remembering names. Faces are far more memorable. Unless of course, your name is Pot Plant or Garage Door. Now those are memorable names.
My Dad is even worse than me and after many years of trying and failing to remember his mates names, he resorted to calling them all Fred. Everyone has gotten used to it and it was a given that if he met you, your name became Fred. When he actually did meet a guy called Fred, he almost went into anaphylactic shock.
Since I was genetically bestowed with the gift of remembering sweet f*ck all, he felt bad and taught me a little trick. ‘Baglett, when you meet someone, repeat their name as often as humanly possible in the conversation. Without sounding like you’re in love with them of course.’
So when I walked into a meeting yesterday, the following disaster occurred.
Random: Baglett, this is Jo.
I heard: Baglett, this is Michael.
Where the hell I got ‘Michael’ from, I don’t friggin know. ‘Jo’ doesn’t sound even vaguely like ‘Michael’ and let’s not even get started on the syllable count difference of those two bad boys.
With the guy’s name firmly instated into my mind as ‘Michael’, I put my plan of remembering his name into action.
Me: So Mike! You’ve never been here before have you Mike?
Jo: Um, no.
This would have been a perfect opportunity for the guy to jump in, correct me, and save me from wanting the chandelier to fall out the ceiling and crush my head. Instead, he went along with it for a full hour while I managed to use his name about 300 times in one conversation. It was Mike this and Mike that and Mike you legend. And so after a full hour of Mikeness, I walked him to the door, said goodbye Mike and with one final nail in my coffin, waved and shouted for the last time:
Me: Bye Mike!
Random: Who’s Mike?
Me: That guy.
R: That’s Jo.
Me: F*ck.
8 comments:
Oh my goodness that is funny, my dad's done the same thing, except at the airport shouting cheers ighball, I mean is that even a name, bwahahah you could also just stick with buddy, usually works...
Bwahahaha thats so funny!!!! I cant tell you how many times i have done that...i was at a cocktail party once & one of my collegues brought his girlfriend along, her name was Andrea but i called her Stacey the whole night!!!! Then another time i was at a club & saw a girl from schhol & i shouted HEY Melanie whe it was infact Michelle!!!! So i feel your pain!! :)
hey i also did that and called a school mate by her sisters name. gosh i was like in her class for 12 yrs, u'd think by then I would have learnt to get it right....
Hm. When we were invitng people to our wedding, I was told my cousin had a "meisie". I - somehow - figured her *name* was Maisie/Macy. The invites went out like that... Urgh.
Well, there's no Mikeness in the Jackson family anymore...
LOL classic.
Bags where are you? I hope you're not slacking!!!!!
Whahaha! You are funny! My grandpa's generic name for everyone was Arabella! So funny hearing him call grown men Arabella - and no one dared correct him!
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