I’ve never had much sympathy for guys who are sick. I think it stems from my dad who is the biggest hypochondriac. He had a cold once and my mother found him lying in bed with a thermometer in his mouth, reading a medical dictionary and trying to take his blood pressure. He updated his will and asked to see his children. When my mother pointed out he had a cold and that he was unfortunately going to live, he didn’t believe her and tried to convince her he was in fact taking his last breaths. When his mates called that night to invite him to a party, he was up, dressed and ready to go in ten minutes.
So when the Wine Merchant came down with man flu, I was less than sympathetic. He lay down on the couch with a wet cloth on his forehead and asked me to pass him the glass of water that was so close to him, he could knock it over with a sneeze.
Wine Merchant: Do I feel hot to you? I feel so hot.
Me: No. You don’t.
WM: I’m seeing dots.
Me: Well connect them and tell me what shape they make.
WM: Could you make me some chicken soup? I have to eat before I take my medication.
Me: Those are over the counter flu tablets. They’re about as strong as children’s chewable vitamins. You don’t need to eat before you take them.
WM: I’m so hot. Could you get me a glass of ice cold water?
Me: Would you like a piece of lightly buttered toast with that?
WM: I’m. Too. Weak. To. Eat.
Me: You’re driving me crazy! You’ve got a cold and you’ll be absolutely fine in about a day. Suck it up.
With that his mother came round. And she’s not just any mother, she is the ultimate mother. She is completely devoted to her children and lives to please them. She came equipped with a first aid kit that I would expect to find on Airforce One.
Mother of Wine Merchant: Oh pooooor baby! You look terrible! Let me take your temperature.
Me: Oh God.
She stuck the thermometer in his mouth and the thing basically melted.
MOWM: Oh my gosh! We’re going straight to the doctor.
The Wine Merchant cast me a glance that said ‘Seeeeeee, told you’ and he was whisked off to the doctor leaving me to think about what I’d done.
It turns out the guy has bronchitis and flu, bordering on pneumonia.
Bad Baglett.
7 comments:
hahaha im exactly the same with my boyfriend (NO SYMPATHY!!!)....its so funny how when they are sick, the whole world comes crashing down around them but we are sick, everything has to keep going!!!
Good One!!!
Don't you just hate it when moms fuss over their sons (your husband / boyfriend) It makes them even whinier than usual...
I once got a broken plate glass window through my calf muscle. The thing got horrendously infected and I could barely walk (because the muscle was basically sliced in half). *The thing literally bled for two weeks*
As luck would have it my girlfriend and I were in the bush so stitches were out of the question. I bandaged it and put on a brave face.
After one day of limping I thought I deserved a medal for my courage... my girlfriend felt diffently and told me to "suck it up" because "that limp is getting on my nerves!"
Harsh and HIDEOUS lack of sympathy! Haha.
that is only the doctors opinion!
Ha ha, Anon I agree. My boyfriend is not too bad when he's sick but his mother always phones and wants to know if she must come around. WE LIVE TOGETHER, doesn't she think I've got it covered?!
LOL - my one is the complete opposite... he can be seriously sick, having asthma attacks every 5 mins and he will refuse to NOT got to work (or what ever else was planned) He will keep insisting that he is bulletproof and must carry on like normal. And there is me trying to get him to see a doctor at least...am starting to sound like a nagging wife! ARG
Careful Baglett, you may never know. It looks as though he might be suffering from a virus which is currently going around the Cape Region too...(S)WINE FLU:)
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