DINNER PARTY PEOPLE

Today began with a slow start. When I spotted the six bottles of wine that the Single Sidekick, The Marketer and the Cool One and I had polished off last night, the throbbing headache made sense. I also wasn’t sure why the dirty dishes were in the drying up rack until I realised that I ‘washed’ them before I fell into bed. Apparently I was cleaning with one eye because I considered that plates with bits of avo stuck on them were in fact clean and pots with mushrooms stuck to the bottom were spotless.

I do enjoy spending time with these girls. Three very strong personalities mixed with copious amounts of alcohol, are balls of fun.

Amongst the usual subjects of celebrities we were meant to be with, who is dating who and why the cat keeps bringing in dead birds, were the others:

It’s ok to never get married
Me: It really doesn’t faze me if I never get married.
The Marketer: You’re lying.
Me: Of course I’m lying.

Baglett flirts too much and needs to stop giving out the Single Sidekick’s number instead of her own
Me: The Wine Merchant hates it when I give out my own, you know that.
SS: Baglett, stop it. Randoms keep phoning me and I don’t even know who they are.
Me: Don’t think of them as randoms, think of them as potential husbands. I’ve met them, I’ve screened them, and I think they’re perfect.
SS: The one guy doesn’t even speak English.
Me: Don’t be such a languagist.
SS: That’s not a word
Me: Well he won’t know will he?

Interval to watch Dad’s video of the garage door opening

New girlfriends of ex boyfriends and how we hate them.
Me: She may be pretty now, but her looks won’t last.
TM: Have you seen her under harsh lighting?
The Cool One: I kinda like her.
SS: So do we but we don't saaaaaay so.

Embarrassing things we’ve done when we’ve got dumped
Me: I went to his house to pick up a drying up towel just to see him. I pretended it was one of a kind and I desperately needed to have it.
The Cool One: I was tiling my boyfriend’s kitchen. He broke up with me and I continued to go there each day until I had finished it.

Annoying neighbours
TM: Can you guys hear someone?
Me: No
TCO: It’s someone shouting at us to be quiet.
TM: Can’t hear them over the music. They'll have to shout louder.

One day I’m going to be at a dinner party and be expected to discuss politics and the state of the country. That will be a very scary day.