HD - IT'S NEW TO ME

So on Monday evening, while I was sitting on the balcony, rocks started falling from the sky. Giant white boulders. I watched with absolute fascination as people came streaming out their doors, jumped into their cars and started driving. I assumed the correct procedure when it hails in Jo’burg, was to evacuate. So I ran to my car and screamed out the complex. When I looked behind me, instead of a stream of flashing lights of cars, there was nothing. People had merely re-parked their cars undercover and were waiting. Having been doing the exact opposite and driving back up the road while rocks hit my car, the only thing I could do was park it under a tree, jump on it and scream, ‘Nooooooooooooooo!’

The Hail Gods heard me and the hail stopped as quickly as it started. I got back into my car, back into the complex and parked. Hot Neighbour, having watched my evacuation with much interest said,

‘It’s Jo’burg; you’ve got to be careful of HD.’

Not wanting to sound like a complete idiot and ask what the hell HD was, I mentally went through the possible options of what HD stood for: Hors D‘oeuvres? High Definition? Hot Dog? I went with what I assumed was perhaps important to him.

Me: Harvard Dropout?
HN: Um. No. Hail damage.

Well then why the f*ck didn’t he just say that then instead of coming up with a useless acronym that works for any number of things, including Hulk’s Daughter.

A quick inspection of the car revealed that, thankfully, it did not resemble a cellulite-ridden butt cheek but was as smooth and sleek as ever. Unfortunately, following the rocks from the sky was a massive barney between Mr lightning and Mr Thunder. When you couldn’t hear yourself over the thunder and the lightning was now coming through the window, heading down the passage and aiming for the bathroom en suite, you’re in a world of shit.

I’m a grown woman but with the Housemate in London and The Wine Merchant in the dog box, I hugged that psycho cat like my life depended on it. Unfortunately the cat was more scared than I was and spent the entire night shivering under the duvet. Of course I said, 'You’re no Thundercat, are you?’ and then fell about laughing for half an hour.

Housemate come back, I’m losing the plot.