I'M NO LONGER COOL

The Wine Merchant’s brother phoned me yesterday on the off chance that I was in the area and 'would I mind fetching him and his mates from gym?'. I was nowhere near the area, in fact, if he had asked me to fetch him from Durban, it would have been closer. But not one to turn down hot 18-year-olds, I said, ‘I’m on my way.’ I had already embarrassed myself the last time I had met his friends (http://baglett.blogspot.com/2009/08/boys-in-matric.html) and was beginning to reevaluate my cool status. A little pep talk on the way there and I was ready to be the coolest twenty-something year old on the planet.

Immediately pulling up to the gym, I felt mommyish. And not in a good way.

Wine Merchant’s Brother: Hey Baglett! What you listening to?
Me: Um, no, don’t press that.

And Frank Sinatra started singing his lungs out to the four hot gym boys.

WMB: Seriously?
Me: I’m doing research for a story on dead singers. Shutup. SO GUYS! What’s the latest with the chick situation?
WMB: I was with this girl last weekend, she was soooooooooo sick!
Me: Shame! What was wrong with her?
WMB: No Baglett, she was hot.
Me: I knew that.
WMB: I’m going to ask her if she wants to hook up.
Me: OK GUYS, everyone be quiet! Turn the music off!
WMB: Um Baglett, I’m on MXit, you don’t need to stop talking.
Me: I knew that.
WMB: Baglett, where are you going?
Me: I’m still trying to get out the parking lot.
WMB: The exit is over there.
Me: But you said, ‘straight on’ earlier.
WMB: I was agreeing with Sean about this girl he met. I meant he must go for her. ‘Straight awwwwwwwwn’.
Me: I knew that.

And feeling like the mom that children try and stuff in the cupboard when their friends came round, I did what every self-respecting person would do to try and be cool – I bought them airtime and a six pack.