I was chatting to a ‘friend’ of mine yesterday about her battle to fall pregnant. I say ‘friend’ because I don’t see her too often which means we barely know each other. In fact, if she hugged me, I would tell her to calm down. But she is the kinda woman I would want to be my ‘friend’. It’s just taking its time, she’s a lot older than me and thinks I’m slightly mad, but we’re working through all that. Anyhoo, she was telling me the sad tale that she would never be able to fall pregnant and was now going down the egg donor route.
‘Friend’: So I’m looking for a donor.
My hands instinctively went to my stomach and I gasped.
‘Friend’: Don’t worry Baglett, I don’t want your eggs.
Me: Shew. That was a close one. WHAT?! What do you mean you don’t want my eggs? What’s wrong with my eggs?!
‘Friend’: Well, I didn’t think you would be an option.
Me: Why not?! I have great eggs! Well, I mean, I’m sure they’re great. I haven’t seen them in person, but I saw them on a scan once and they look like great eggs. The kinda eggs you don’t mind bringing home to meet your parents.
‘Friend’: What?
Me: You know what I mean.
‘Friend’: I just don’t think I could ask someone to go through the painful procedure to become an egg donor.
Me: What’s so painful about giving over a couple of eggs?
‘Friend’: Well, you don’t lay them Baglett, it involves hormone injections.
Me: Well I’ve got loads of hormones so you wouldn’t have to inject me with any extra guys.
‘Friend’: Are you offering your eggs?
Me: I’m sorry, what?
‘Friend’: You sound like you’re offering me your eggs.
Me: Do I? You don’t want my eggs. They’re terrible eggs. Most badly behaved eggs in the business. Did I mention on the scan, they were fighting with each other? The most intolerable, undisciplined eggs I’ve ever seen.
‘Friend’: Don’t worry Baglett, I’ve already got a donor – I was just winding you up.
Me: Oh thank God.
Me: Could I be your back up?
‘Friend’: Really?!
Me: Well, your back up’s back up.
‘Friend’: Thought so.
5 comments:
Hahahahah Baglett the probability is a)your eggs were very likely behaving badly during the scan - doing duckwalks and practising pickup lines and eyelash flutters, and b)she's kinda worried that the offspring born of your eggs would be just like you and she does think you're a bit on the crazy side already. Just saying - but I think it's cool to give them to deserving recipients. I'd surely love to have an egg like you, if my little eggy offspring didn't already behave pretty much the same as you do.
I don't know how I'd feel about my friends carrying my fertilized egg around in their belly.
I know. And then I would feel bad if it turned out to be an eggs con
Baglett, how come you haven't offered chicken your eggs huh? Don't tell me a tall story..... :-)
Must be weird also when child is born, to know in a way its "genetically" your child
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